Christmas Is A Time Of Real Danger In Nursing

Most sane clear thinking nurses will tell you that Christmas is a time of real danger. It doesn’t matter what field of nursing you work in everyone has unique challenges to deal with. Those in A & E see the very real tragedies that speed, alcohol and stupidity can cause. For myself and others in community we see sad and unforgivable episodes of “Granny Dumping” where Hospitals send their patients home far too early then they should in order to save money on wages and shut down wards. Shame, shame, shame!

Putting all that aside for a moment Christmas is a time of real danger because patients and their families want to show their appreciation for all the hard work and care provided by giving you gifts. People, please – It’s not necessary!

God bless their little cotton socks. It’s very sweet and charming and all those other fluffy emotions but for goodness sake folks we beg you don’t bring us unwrapped food items. As lovingly as they might have been prepared and as pure as the thoughts behind them we’d prefer sealed goods from an established manufacturer, preferably of the chocolate kind and not home made bakery products.

It’s not just the little kiddies that like to play in the cookie dough and as cute as it might be for Grandma to help out rolling those Rum Balls in coconut, cleanliness may no longer be as high a priority for her as it once was. There’s nothing sadder than supporting a colleague when they are on their knees praying to the porcelain God of sewage after consuming a doubtful dodgy sticky date muffin. No words of comfort can help at a time like this.

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But that’s not all. Even safe food can pose real risk. Christmas is a time of real danger for nurses as they are physically incapable of not stopping when it comes to eating appropriately presented gifts. Like the Fat Man of Monty Python fame who espoused the concept of “just a wafer more” I once witnessed a senior Clinical Nurse explode after consuming 16 boxes of Cadbury Roses in a single 8 hour shift sitting. While her enthusiasm was admired and applauded by most, the Wardsmen who’s task it was to scrap her intestines off the pan room walls were none to impressed. Her epitaph read – “She died doing what she did best”

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So if you’d like to show your support for the hard working nurses out there please do so but be aware that self control is absent when it comes to consuming food. By all means leave a few wrapped chockies, but keep the home cooked treats where they belong — at your place.

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